


I am convinced I could have had sex with both Tony Bennett and John McCain if we weren't each happily married at the time we all met.The star of Parks and Recreation shares stories from her adolescence, her star-making tenure at Saturday Night Live and her abiding love of improvisation. "Believe me, blond hair can take you really far, especially with the older men.

"Please don't drive drunk, okay? Seriously."If you can surf your life rather than plant your feet, you will be happier.".Your hormones are telling you that you are strong and sexy, everyone is scared of you, and you have a built-in sidekick who may come out at any minute." Women really are at their most dangerous during this time. "When you are pregnant you can get away with a lot of sh*t."Shame makes people abandon their children and drink themselves to death."I believe great people do things before they are ready."."Saying 'yes' doesn't mean I don't know how to say no and saying 'please' doesn't mean I am waiting for permission.".I decided early on it was not going to be my looks." "If you are lucky, there is a moment in your life when you have some say as to what your currency is going to be."Some people hate the word, and I understand how 'bossy' can seem like a sh*tty way to describe a woman, but for me, a bossy woman is someone to search out and celebrate."."If it's not funny, you don't have to laugh."."That is the motto women should constantly repeat over and over again."You have to care about how good you are and how good you feel, but not about how good people think you are or how good people think you look."."Nobody looks stupid when they are having fun.".Instead of asking students to 'declare their major' we should ask students to 'list what they will do anything to avoid.' It just makes a lot more sense." "I think we should stop asking people in their 20s what they 'want to do' and start asking them what they don't want to do.A lot of people who are dead wish they were still alive." It's expensive, does more harm than good, and has been proven to never end."

